Forget Bachelor Nation—How Gabby Windey Found Her Happily Ever After Off Screen

Gabby Windey still likes roses. A few weeks ago, she was on a double date in New York with her girlfriend, comedian Robby Hoffman, when they came across an arrangement of fake roses. “Our friend went to go grab them like, ‘You should give Robby the rose.’ So I did,” Windey recalls. “Robby hits me with roses all the time. At first, she was afraid that I was traumatized by them.” 

After two seasons (and countless breakups) on The Bachelor franchise, it’s understandable why people would think that Windey would be traumatized by roses. Windey, a former ICU nurse and Denver Broncos cheerleader, joined the Bachelor franchise in Season 26 of The Bachelor with Clayton Echard, where she was one of two runner-ups. She and the other runner-up, Rachel Recchia, were then announced as the first co-leads for The Bachelorette Season 19, where Windey got engaged to finalist Erich Schwer. They announced their breakup two months after the finale while Windey was filming Dancing With the Stars Season 31. 

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Fast forward to a few months later, and Windey has found love again. This time, with a woman. She went public with her relationship and came out as queer in an interview on The View in August, where she proudly declared, “I’m dating a girl.” Weeks later, while sitting on a couch in New York in an all denim ‘fit, Windey can confidently say she’s in love. “I’m in the best relationship I’ve ever been in,” she says. 

Ahead, Windey talks to StyleCaster about how her girlfriend would have fared on her season of The Bachelorette, the other queer Bachelor Nation members who reached out to her, and why she didn’t expect any of the men from her Bachelorette season (including her ex-fiancé) to congratulate her after she came out.

How did you decide to come out the way you did?

Either way it was going to be news. It’s not like I can just release a photo on Instagram because people would write my story for me. An interview in real time on The View was live. By going on TV, I was able to tell my own story before people did it for me. Nobody wants to come out anymore. Thank God for that. But I understand that it was just a pitstop we had to make in order to move on with the rest of our lives. I was getting DMs like, “I’ve seen you with a girl, you’ve been recognized together.” So there was a bit of a buzz. We live in L.A. We had the fear of being outed. My girlfriend had a really terrible outing experience. She was outed as 17 and is traumatized by it. She didn’t want the same for me. It added more stress to our relationship. Why shouldn’t we be able to celebrate our relationship like we would any other heterosexual relationship?

Have you heard from any other queer members of Bachelor Nation like Colton Underwood or Becca Tilley?

I spoke with both Becca Tilly and Colton. I actually met [Colton] at an event when I was newly dating my girlfriend, and I was kind of wanting to tell him, but it was not public. But he’s really sweet. And Becca has been so nice, and there if I need anything. They’ve been so supportive. You guys paved the way. Thank you. But I do think everyone’s story is really different. People are like, “Did you get advice from them?” I don’t know if I really need advice when you’re just speaking your truth. I’m just saying what is real and authentic to me. Thank God, it’s happened before, obviously, because I think it would have been really scary if this was the first time. But luckily, just in the time we’re in, we’re more accepting of different sexualities, especially when it comes to ‘being bisexual,’ which is a whole ‘nother thing that people don’t understand.

Have you heard from anyone else in Bachelor Nation?

Rachel has been such a support and Genevieve, and I think that’s kind of it. I do think unfortunately people who don’t know a lot about queer relationships and aren’t as familiar with them don’t know how to congratulate you. They don’t know whether it’s something to celebrate or speculate. I think if I was dating somebody else, like a man, that would come with a lot more congratulations. But now I think people don’t quite know what to do with it.

What about any of the men from your season of The Bachelorette?

Nate commented on my Instagram post, and that’s it. It’s pretty expected. I just don’t think men really know what to do with it. If the roles were reversed, I think women would have an easier time celebrating a gay relationship, but it’s OK. Plus they probably all are taking it personally. I don’t think ex-boyfriends like when you go date a woman. It’s like, “Yeah, you literally weren’t good enough. You can’t give me what she is giving me.”

You said on The View that your ex-fiancé didn’t know about you dating Robby before you came out. Have you heard from him since?

No, not a peep.

Did you expect to hear from him?

No, he has nothing to say ever.

Has Robby seen your season of The Bachelorette?

She’s seen bits and pieces, and she thinks the world of me. We come from similar backgrounds  in our childhoods. She gets me and sees me without having to explain myself, so even that came up on TV when she was watching the season. She thinks she won The Bachelor. She’s like, “I won The Bachelor!” It’s honestly taboo to say. Nobody wins! It’s not a competition!

Do you think you and Robby would’ve ended up together if you met on The Bachelorette?

She always says we would because she’s not shy. She would come on to me wherever we were. So maybe? But thank God it didn’t happen like that. I’d be like, “Who is this crazy woman?” But she’s hilarious. She can win anyone over.

A recurring theme on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is getting engaged and married. Is that something that’s still a priority for you?

Apparently in the past, I’ve said, “I wouldn’t ever get engaged again.” But I must’ve been really done bad. I don’t stand by that. Actually, we talk about it all the time. Lesbians move really fast. They say you U-Haul it. It’s like dog years. We’ve been together for five months, but it’s basically been six years. I would love to honestly be married to her. I’ve never felt this stable, and things keep getting better. She’s taught me what is to be loved. This is love. I’ve been looking for it for so long. She taught me so much about a relationship and what it means to be in a good one. We’re in the honeymoon phase, so obviously, I’m speaking with a lot of confidence. Come back in a year and we’ll see.

Would you or Robby propose?

She would have to propose. Not like I know. Gender roles are definitely a conversation in same-sex relationships. I don’t really like to abide by gender roles, but she’s chivalrous in that way. I’m like, “No, she wants to propose!” But I think she would want to do that for me and is excited to.

Would you ever get engaged or married on TV?

No. Well, it depends how much they want to pay. I will do a lot for money. But no. Robby and I, as much as we both love the spotlight and attention and our heads are so big—like they can’t fit in a room—we also love our privacy and really protect our relationship like a baby. We’re constantly talking about our feelings and how much we love each other. It’s really opposite of what people might think. But unfortunately not. But let me know. People magazine, hey.

The Golden Bachelor is premiering. When your Bachelorette season was airing, a lot of people wanted your grandpa, John, to be the Golden Bachelor. Was that ever a real conversation?

Never. He’s too old, I think.

The Golden Bachelor they chose is 72.

Is he 72? That’s what people keep saying, but he looks really young. I love my grandpa, but he doesn’t seem to play by the rules. My grandpa cannot take direction. He does his own thing. He’s not going to be waking up for interviews at 8 a.m. He’s like, ‘No, and I need an afternoon nap.’

Bachelor Nation fans for years have wanted a queer Bachelor or a Bachelorette. Do you think that will ever happen?

Hopefully. Maybe. I will say that The Bachelor still has very Christian values, so I think it would be hard. I think they can start on Paradise and have a queer storyline because I think a particular scene, a storyline on TV really helped me seeing people that I related to. I think in general people have a way of speaking about gay people and lesbians, I didn’t really identify with that, so I think I suppressed that part and was slow to come around. 

Watching whatever gay television is allotted us, a lot, especially when it comes to lesbians, I think people think lesbians are butch and not very feminine, so I didn’t know it was an option for me. Every lesbian I knew looked different than me. I think if I had met someone like me then I would have been more comfortable with exploring it earlier. We could use more great representation with a strong woman on The Bachelor or the first queer Bachelorette. That’d be truly amazing to help open people’s eyes.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.